


Greater Than Before

by calamitysam687



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Descent Into Darkness, Eventual HEA, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, M/M, Post-TLJ, Rey Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Tags Are Hard, eventual ben solo redemption, eventual dark Rey, kind of, let's pretend TROS didn't happen, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:34:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28585824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calamitysam687/pseuds/calamitysam687
Summary: She realized, then, that the last of Snoke’s hold had finally gone, and what was left was the broken, beaten boy he had tried so hard to destroy. Now, more than ever, Rey felt the weight of her charge. She was seeing, for what felt like the first time, how the Jedi and the Sith could destroy someone. Anakin’s story was heartbreaking, yes; but watching the same devastation happening right before her very eyes was a whole new level of agonizing. She felt anger, disgust, and a desire for revenge swell up in her heart. The galaxy should pay for what it had done to the boy standing before her. She couldn’t allow this suffering to go on any longer, or let it happen to another young boy just like him.She could save him.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings! Welcome to the project that has slowly been eating away at me for a while now. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't insanely nervous to start posting this fic- it's going to be a loooong one, and I've been pouring a lot into it so far. To be completely honest, I started writing it in July of last year. Why am I only posting it now, you ask? Because I have the first act (of what I hope to be three) written, and think that if I don't start publishing it now, I never will. 
> 
> All of that being said, welcome again! This is my version of a TROS rewrite, except I re-wrote the end of TLJ, too. As bad as the sequels may have been, I couldn't help but try my hand at exploring what Rey and Kylo's relationship could have become. I can't promise you that everything will fit in perfectly to extended-universe/canon lore, but I will try my best to at least bend the truth believably! 
> 
> Overall, I sincerely hope you enjoy this first chapter and those to come- buckle up, because it's going to be a crazy ride!

_This is not going to go the way you think._

The words had beaten against the interior of Rey’s skull as the elevator rose quickly and quietly. They had been the only thing louder in her ears than the sound of her own screaming as Snoke twisted the Force around her, tearing into her mind; and they had been her only hope as Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber turned to end the monster that claimed to have designed Kylo Ren. She would get no greater satisfaction than returning to her master, Ben Solo in tow, to tell him how every word of what he said had been wrong.

“The fleet.” Rey, still aching and panting from the hard-won battle against Snoke’s guards, rushed to observe the battle still raging outside the throne room. “Order them to stop firing. There’s still time to save the fleet!” She pointed towards the viewport, not expecting to be met with the silence that followed. She spun on her heel, only to be greeted by the sight of Kylo Ren- no, she hoped, Ben Solo- staring at the mutilated corpse of his former master. His eyes were confused, and his features screamed disbelief, until suddenly he regained his composure.

“It’s time to let old things die,” he breathed heavily. “Snoke, Skywalker.” He turned and then approached her menacingly as Rey became acutely aware of just how large, just how _powerful,_ the man she was trying to save was. “The Sith, the Jedi, the rebels… Let it all die.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This was not what her vision had shown her, when they had touched hands in her dreary hut. She had seen light, and goodness, and _hope._ Enough hope to drag her from Ach-To and her training in order to save a boy who had been pushed to the brink by a man he trusted- the same man who had led her to take up the mantle of the Jedi Code and to save the galaxy from his failings. The very man who had begged her not to go, telling her that she couldn’t do this. He believed that Ben Solo was lost, just as so many others did. He was the same, cowardly man who, a dark part of Rey whispered, she now questioned if she trusted to guide her journey in mastering the Force.

“Rey,” Kylo- _no,_ she chided herself, _Ben_ \- paused in front of her, before slowly extending his gloved hand. “I want you to join me.”

_No,_ she thought to herself. _You’re supposed to be joining me._

_This is not going to go the way you think,_ Luke Skywalker’s voice taunted her in the back of her mind. Somehow his voice sounded much more smug than when he originally had said the words to her, lying on the wet stone steps of his ancient Jedi planet.

“We can rule together, and bring a new order to the galaxy.”

“Don’t do this, Ben,” Rey half-whispered, shaking her head slowly. There was good in him, she had _seen_ it. He was supposed to come back to his mother, to his legacy, to _her._ Not ask her to do the unthinkable and leave it all behind. “Please, don’t go this way.”

Ben flared with anger, and Rey could only describe the way his features changed as them flickering back to represent Kylo Ren. “No, no, you’re still… holding on! Let go!” He screamed at her, and Rey let the tears fall. He took a deep breath to regain his composure and, lowering his hand, continued. “Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known?”

Rey stared at him with disbelief. It had been so real, so solid, when she had envisioned him coming _home_ with her. She could feel the joy, hear the cheers, as if it were happening before her in that very instant. But this? This seemed so much more like what the Force had supposedly shown him- the fighting, the bloodshed, and the sounds of her friends exploding outside of the ship while she stood powerless before him, her tears continuing to fall. All of it was so far from her vision of him returning to his family, to her rag-tag band of friends...

“And you’ve just hidden it away.” If he was reading her thoughts, he made no sign of it as he continued to push her. Again he approached her, his every step echoing around the throne room. “You know the truth. Say it.”

She began to shake her head, her mind failing to comprehend just how wrong this scene was. What truth was she supposed to be facing? Her mind screamed that he was lying, that this was a trick to pull her to the Dark Side. Her family hadn’t just recklessly abandoned her. Even if they weren’t coming back for her, she had been so sure that there was a good reason for them to leave her on Jakku. Surely they knew that, even though Unkar Plutt was a monster, he would at least keep her fed enough to survive. But even as she went through the motions, a quiet part of her began to gain traction. The memory of the ship flying away, leaving her to fight against Plutt’s painful grip flashed through her mind. _If they had wanted her_ , the voice began to shout, _they would have come back_. They had no plan, they had no purpose. She had been in their way, so they had gotten rid of her like trash that needed to be jettisoned into space.

The tears began to flow more readily as the repressed part of her began to scream the truth at her. Kylo stood there, staring at her, before he prodded once again with a surprising gentleness. “Say it.”

“They were nobody.” She looked anywhere but him, her chest finally beginning to heave to match the tears streaming down her cheeks. She could feel him continuing to stare down into her face, and when she looked up at him, she could see something like _pity_ in his features.

“They were filthy junk traders, who sold you off for drinking money.” Rey sucked in a breath, her chest beginning to form sobs. She knew it was true, knew that he had seen it in her mind back on Starkiller Base, even when she couldn’t see it herself. And she knew, somehow, that in this moment he was not manipulating the truth- she could feel his genuineness through the bond. “They’re dead in a pauper’s grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing.” He took a pause. Rey stared at his face while his features softened despite the devastating blows he was landing on her heart. “You’re nothing.”

The words steamrolled every ounce of strength Rey had left. Something deep inside of her snapped, the mental blockade that she had built for herself crumbling beneath the weight of the truth that he had spoken. Suddenly her mind began to connect the dots between memories that it had kept hidden from her for years.

The drunk couple who would always sit in the corner of the bar at Niima Outpost and stare at her whenever she came in.

The image of her parents ship, rotting away in the junkyard a few weeks after that couple had disappeared.

The fresh, unmarked grave that rested along her path out of town.

It hurt her more than she could ever have described to realize that her parents had, all along, come back to Jakku. They had come back, and they had watched her work until her hands were raw just to avoid starvation. They always knew where she was, yet they never welcomed her back with the open arms she dreamed of. She had been made Plutt’s problem, and they had enjoyed all the benefits of a few extra credits and one less mouth to feed. Pain and rage flooded every sense in Rey’s body, her tears streaming hotly down her cheeks. The family that was supposed to love her had left her to die in the desert.

In the flurry of these thoughts, she recognized that she had always known, deep down, that she had never been meant to leave Jakku. She was as inconsequential to the galaxy as she had been to her parents. Her destiny had been to scavenge her days away until Plutt either grew tired of giving her supplies, or a sandstorm buried her just like her parents; her life and her death would make no mark on anyone or anything. She had never been meant to find the Resistance, or to find Luke, or to face down the First Order. It was all just dumb luck that she found herself in this mess, not because she was someone special with a destiny to be fulfilled. No, she had been meant to live and die on the hellhole that was the desert planet of Jakku, with not a single soul any the wiser.

_What’s special about you?_ Luke’s voice, from one of their very first interactions, rang in her ears.

_Nothing,_ her soul cried back. _My parents knew that, too._

“But not to me,” Ben murmured to her, breaking her from her thoughts and causing her eyes to shoot from the floor to his face. She almost thought that he hadn’t said it, that she had imagined it. But she saw then that it was not pity that he gazed at her with, no. If she hadn’t known any better, she would have described it as heartbroken affection. It was a look that he had given her in fleeting moments during their connections, and now he stood before her showing it to her for real. It was a pained expression, as if he felt her pain and understood it like no one before him had. He gazed at her with the sympathetic acceptance that she had craved for so much of her life, and her eyes couldn't help but scour his face greedily for every ounce of it. As they locked eyes, Ben once again raised his hand and offered it to her. “Join me.”

His hand shook slightly, as if he was just as unsure of himself as Rey had been in these last few moments. Her world had shifted completely on its axis, now that years of lying to herself had been broken down to reveal the truth of her parentage. She could have almost laughed if she weren’t so exhausted. The nobody of Jakku, the princess of sand and loneliness, was being offered the entire galaxy on a platter by its devastating leader. Her arm burned from where she had been injured just moments before, but it was nothing in comparison to how her heart burned to see Ben offering her everything. He saw everything that she was. He knew the truth of her backstory, and the dark emotions that she grappled with constantly. Kylo Ren, the monster in a mask, understood her in a way that no one in the galaxy ever could and was offering to accept her despite it all.

As ferocious a warrior that he was, in this moment, he looked even more afraid than she did.

_Don’t do this,_ the faint voice of Master Skywalker hissed into her head. But it was much quieter now, and she nearly missed it over the din of his voice reminding her that she was not special, that she was untrained, and that she had too much darkness in her. The same darkness that had ripped Ben Solo away from the light. Luke Skywalker could never understand what she had been through, and how she struggled with the call to the dark. Ben could.

It only took one more word to bring all of Rey’s raging thoughts to a standstill. One word to silence the hopelessness, the loneliness, the _rejection_ that she had been bombarded with in the last few minutes. With it, every teaching and every warning that she had ever listened to suddenly meant nothing in comparison to the relief that came with this single syllable. It slipped out from his lips in a whisper, betraying his intimidating appearance to convey his eagerness, his _longing,_ to show Rey where she truly belonged.

“Please.”

If she had been honest with herself, she would have recognized the truth. This decision had been made long before she had reached Snoke’s ship, even before Luke Skywalker watched the Millennium Falcon fly away for the very last time. Her choice had been made the minute their hands had touched back on Ach-To, when she still thought that this would go the way she thought. Lifting her fingers, surprisingly steady in comparison to his, she placed her hand against his palm.

It was the last thing she remembered before the ship exploded around her.

+++

Rey awoke to the sound of heavy breathing. Her eyes flickered open while her brain struggled to remember where she was. The room around her was dark save for the flames licking at the corners. She registered a throne, and then she saw Kylo Ren holding himself up by his forearms. That was where the breathing was coming from, she noted to herself. Slowly but surely, her mind was filled with the memory of her hand in his, his face flickering from fear to relief, before she was thrown by an unexpected blast.

“What. Happened.” Rey’s eyes panned to see the figure of General Armitage Hux looming over Kylo’s body, his blaster pointed at Rey. His face was pulled into a deep frown while he took in the devastating damage around him. Behind him, the corpse of Snoke lay in two lifeless pieces.

“I killed him,” Kylo Ren stated, almost matter-of-factly, as he quickly rose to his feet. Rey watched as his eyes frantically took in his surroundings just as she had in the few moments before. “What happened?

“The Resistance piloted a cruiser through our ship.” Hux spit out the words as if they tasted vile on his tongue. “At lightspeed,’ he added with even more distaste.

“We know where they are going. Get all our forces down to that Resistance base.”

“No!” Rey finally pushed herself up off of her feet. Hux whipped around to look at her, a moment way from pressing the trigger. “Leave them be! You have what you want now, Ben. You have-”

“That is not my name,” Kylo Ren reminded her, his tone vicious. “And the past _must die._ All of it. If you’re joining me in this mission, then this is our chance to kill it.” His eyes were hard, drilling into hers. Hux’s eyes had blown wide open, and in his shock he slowly lowered his weapon. Rey felt as if she should be cowering, yet she felt no compulsion to do anything but hold her ground. Kylo broke eye contact first, turning to walk out of the throne room. Cruelly, he commanded to them both, “let’s finish this.”

“Finish this?” Hux’s voice was incredulous. “Who do you think you’re talking to? You presume to command _my_ army? Our Supreme leader is dead! We have no ruler!” The man’s face looked like it was about to crack, the effort to keep from screaming at Kylo apparently too much. Then, as quickly as his outburst had begun, Hux’s hands flew to his throat, his blaster clattering to the floor. He let out a gasp as every molecule of oxygen left his lungs. Rey turned her eyes away, not wanting to watch Kylo kill the offending officer.

Sparks flew behind Kylo as his fist tightened the Force around Hux’s neck. “The Supreme Leader is dead.”

“Long live the Supreme Leader,” Hux choked out. Finally, Kylo released him and turned to continue out of the throne room. Hux fell to the floor, gasping for breath. However, it amazed Rey how quickly his expression went from oxygen-deprived to vengeful. This man, apparently, really didn’t care for Kylo Ren.

“Come with me,” he called to Rey over his shoulder. It wasn’t a request. She tore her eyes away from Hux (who glared at her as she went) and followed Kylo, beginning to wonder if she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you've been well since the first chapter. Full disclosure, this week was my first week back in my accelerated nursing program... let's just say that things look like they might be crazy from now until about March hahaha. Regardless, I shall do my best to post chapters to this fic! I hope you enjoy this next chapter, and here's to frequent uploads in the future!

It was horrifying.

Rey stood in the back of the command ship with tears in her eyes once again. She watched as the dilapidated speeders charged towards the canon, slowly but surely being reduced to ash. It was a suicide run, she screamed in her head, so why were they doing it? She knew for a fact that Finn was down there. Was he still alive, or had he already been blown to pieces? All this was happening while she just stood there, powerless to do anything to stop it. Even if she managed to get Kylo’s lightsaber from him (hers had been taken as a precaution) and managed to drive it through his back as he stood there before her, she knew that Hux would just kill her and continue the assault. Besides, the canon was already nearly charged. It was only a matter of seconds before what was left of the resistance would be out in the open.

“Sir, they’re breaking off.” One of the commanders told Kylo Ren, who stood behind him. “All but one.” _Finn,_ Rey thought as her stomach dropped. _That fool-hardy boy…_

“Continue charging,” Kylo calmly told the commander. “They’ll be vaporized before the speeder even reaches the cannon.”

“ _Ben_ ,” Rey yelped. It took all of her bravery to reach up and put a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened, and she immediately recoiled. “You don’t have to do this. They’re no threat to the First Order anymore.”

“As long as they’re alive, they’re a threat.” He growled at her, whipping around to face her. “As long as _she_ lives, we are vulnerable.”

“Killing a resistance doesn't mean killing everyone within it.” Her voice gained strength as she latched onto an idea. Officers began to turn around to see the woman who was standing up to the Supreme Leader and that was, miraculously, surviving. “You heard their distress call. No one is coming to help them. The Resistance is dead.”

Kylo faltered for a moment. He had opened his mouth to shout something at her, but then stopped at the last second. Rey recognized the conflict across his features. She was breaking through to him.

“The canon is charged, sir.” The commander broke into their exchange. “And one of the speeders has… collided with the suicide runner. The target is clear.”

“Fire!” Before Kylo could turn around, Hux had given the command. The explosion reached Rey’s ears before she could push forward to look out the viewport. Her eyes raced from the hole in the blast door to the crashed speeders nearest the canon, just in time to see Finn pulling a girl she didn’t recognize out of the other speeder. _At least he’s alive,_ Rey told herself.

 _Not for long,_ some sick part of herself sneered. 

“ _General Hux,_ ” Kylo grated, clearly unhappy with the fact that the general had overridden his command. But, Rey saw, the man had regained his composure; the conflict was gone from his face. Now it was only covered in disdain for the offending general. “Advance. No quarter. No prisoners.”

“Please,” Rey whimpered. “There’s still hope.”

“No, there isn’t.” Kylo once again turned to look at her, as she shrank back down into the corner of the command deck she originally found herself in. “The spark is out.”

Moments passed, with the only sound being the chatter of the communications and the hum of the machinery as it pushed ceaselessly forward. She counted the minutes like a man counts the steps to a gallows. With nothing but her sickening dread to occupy her, she began to question why she had taken Kylo’s hand. This was not what she had wanted; she had just wanted to bring Ben home. To Leia, and her friends, and to Master Luke- she then pondered how wrong it felt to bring him back to the man who tried to murder him needlessly. Even if she did, Luke would never forgive her for her actions here, Leia might never trust her the same, and Finn would probably never talk to her again. Only Ben would understand her choices. Maybe it was better for them to lose this battle so that she would never have to face them again.

_Wait, what?_ Rey shook her head violently. That wasn’t her. Master Luke was her teacher and her friend. The Resistance was her family. Ben could never get in the way of that. So what if they didn’t understand her? It would be hard being the only Jedi amongst their ranks, sure. But being known, being accepted, wasn't worth their destruction. Surely, her hand in Ben’s hadn’t meant that she wanted to see them come to ruin. Right?

“Stop!” Kylo shouted. Rey looked up, straining to look out the viewport from behind him. She recognized the figure immediately. Her master stood before the entire First Order, with only a laser sword to protect him. _You crazy old man!_ Her mind screeched. _You told me that you_ weren’t _going to do this!_

“I want every gun we have to fire on that man.”

“No!” Rey shouted, finally pushing herself out of the corner to leap towards the controls. What she would do once she reached them, she had no clue, but it was the only thing that her distressed mind could conjure to do. Hux was the one to grab her, trapping her arms at her sides while she fought like an animal to get away.

Kylo’s voice was low, without any sign of hesitation or remorse. “Do it.”

She screamed and wrestled with the general as each AT-AT unit began to fire at her master. In a cloud of dust, she watched her mentor vanish. “What are you doing?!” Her voice nearly broke, hoarse from screaming the words over and over again. All Kylo did was shout over her, demanding more firepower.

“That’s enough!” Hux finally screamed over the both of them, and the shooting stopped. Rey sobbed, afraid to look to see Luke’s remains in the Craitian salt. “Do you think you got him?” Hux sneered, releasing Rey to crumple to the floor. “Now, if we’re ready to get moving, we can finish this.”

“Sir,” the commander spoke up. Kylo took a shaky breath, and walked to the viewport. Rey also rose, and walked unsteadily next to him. No one stopped her.

Luke Skywalker stood just where he had started, the salt cloud settling around him. Completely unscathed, he sarcastically dusted off his shoulder, taunting the new Supreme Leader. Kylo took a breath of complete disbelief before ordering his subordinates. “Bring us down to him. Keep the door covered, and don’t advance until I say.”

“Supreme Leader, don’t get distracted. Our goal-” Kylo punched Hux before he could finish.

“Right away, sir.” A sensible commander replied, and the ship began to lower.

“It is time to meet the real man whom you call master.” Kylo addressed Rey, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the lowering exit platform. “It is time for the end of Skywalker.”

+++

“I told you this wouldn’t go how you thought it would,” Luke Skywalker stared at his former and current pupils as they exited the command ship. He kept his face neutral, though his tone felt as if it were mocking Rey for being so foolish in her choices.

“Did you come back to say you forgive me?” Kylo spit at Luke before Rey had a chance to reply. How would she explain to Luke that she was with him willingly? “To save my soul?”

“No,” Luke answered with a calm anger, before his tone shifted into a calm remorse. “I failed you Ben. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you are!” Kylo yelled at his ex-master. _This is too little too late,_ Rey thought to herself. “The Resistance is dead. The war is over. And when we kill you, we will have killed the last Jedi.”

“We?” Luke asked, his eyes suddenly on Rey. With one look, he told her that he knew exactly what was happening here. “Rey, what did he say to you?”

“I’m so sorry, Master Luke.”

“ _Sorry_?”

“You were going to murder a _child_ ,” Rey stepped forward, addressing him. Her voice shook as she did so, so uncertain of how to get herself out of this mess. She could see the betrayal in Luke’s eyes already. Kylo, meanwhile, stood rigid; his hand rested in a fist at his side, as if he were ready to reach for his lightsaber at any second. “You were going to kill an innocent boy, just because you were afraid. He chose you to trust, and you let him down. So can you blame me for questioning if _I_ can trust you?”

“Rey, you don’t understand…” Luke’s voice trembled at first, but he once again regained his calm tone.

“I think I understand plenty well,” she scoffed, crossing her arms as she stood before him. She felt like a child arguing with a parent, but she didn't care. “You’re his _family,_ ” she cried out. “He had a family who loved him, and you took him away from them. And you let your fear of the dark get the best of you. He was just a _boy_ \- he didn’t deserve this! Was it just because he was Vader’s grandson? Have _you_ never felt a tinge of darkness in your life, Luke?”

It was all coming to a head. The truth of Ben’s past and the identity of her parents weighed heavily on her heart. She was so _angry._ Ben had everything she had ever wanted. A family, a calling, a _lineage_ to fulfill. And Luke had stolen everything from him. No, not just Luke. Leia and Han had been the ones to send Ben off. And it was the Jedi’s fears that had led Luke to ignite the lightsaber above the young boy’s head.

“Rey, I-”

She interrupted him, not finished letting out everything she had felt in the last few hours. “For a creed that honors balance in the Force above all else,” she scoffed, "the Jedi seem pretty determined to destroy any trace of darkness. And in that needless crusade, worst of all, Ben Solo,” she pointed behind her towards the one and only, “got caught in the middle of the generations-long _farce_ that is the Jedi Order. The choice to follow Light, Dark, _whatever_ , was taken from him. _You_ made his choice for him.”

She was screaming now, even if she didn’t realize it. “You took him away from everyone in the entire _kriffing_ galaxy that loved him, only to push him away yourself! No wonder he fell into Snoke’s waiting grasp!”

“Rey,” he yelled desperately, trying to pull her out of her emotions. “Don't listen to it! The Dark Side, I can sense it around you. It’s calling you from the Light. Pull away from the lies, from the temptation!” Luke gestured dramatically, as if pushing the darkness away from around himself. Rey found that she was having none of it.

“No! You’re the temptation!” She shrieked, surprising both herself and Kylo. “The Jedi are too afraid to find true balance. The Jedi only seek to destroy that which they fear most.”

“Stop, listen to yourself-”

“You would have murdered me all the same!” Rey’s hand reached out, the Force thrumming through her fingertips as Kylo’s lightsaber flew from his belt. Though he looked shocked, he made no attempt to stop it from its course to her hand. “If it had been me instead of Ben all those years ago, you would have killed me, too. Your weakness would have left me alone again just because I can _feel_ it. The call to the Dark Side. Doesn’t that make me a monster in your eyes, like Ben was?” Luke just stared at her, holding his ground while she continued to unload on him.

“It doesn’t matter how strongly I feel pulled to the Light- all you can see is your fear of the Dark!” She began to shake, her thumb unconsciously moving towards the switch on the blade. “You will never understand how it feels,” she continued angrily, “to be pulled apart like this. Not like Ben does!”

Her voice ached from how hard she was throwing words at the older man before her. Luke continued to stare at her with sadness in his light eyes, and she almost thought that she saw tears in them. But her rage blinded her from that observation.

“Every word that you just said was wrong.” Luke widened his stance, slightly raising the hilt of his lightsaber. “Kylo Ren doesn’t understand you, he only knows how to manipulate you! Can’t you see it, Rey? He’ll abandon you in every way that you fear!”

“Liar!” She screamed, igniting the crackling red blade. She rushed at him, swinging wildly. It was uncontrolled, unmeasured, but it was powerful nonetheless. Luke ducked underneath the crimson lightsaber at the last possible second, leaving Rey to skid on her heels to retain her balance. Red salt kicked up beneath her as she spun to face him, while Luke fought to right himself once more. Kylo stood in the distance in a battle stance, though Rey knew there was little he could (or would) do, since his lightsaber now rested in her hands.

“Strike me down in anger,” Luke ignited his own lightsaber, “and I’ll always be with you. Just like Han haunts him. He will destroy you, Rey!” Luke pleaded with her, desperate to call her back to her senses. But the blood pounding in her ears left her deaf to his words. She once again ran at him, this time successfully running the blade through his chest. Luke looked at her with wide, fearful eyes, but did not fall. Instead, he just looked at the woman holding the other end of the lightsaber that pierced his body.

“You are lost,” he choked out. “Just like I lost him.” Ben had come to stand next to Rey, his eyes nearly as wide as Luke’s had been.

“Rey,” Ben called, placing a hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, she realized what was happening. She turned off the lightsaber, leaving Luke Skywalker, completely unharmed, just feet in front of her. Kylo kept his hand on her as he addressed his former master. “Your trick doesn't matter, the war is over.”

“You’re wrong,” Luke smiled to himself darkly. “The rebellion is reborn today, and the war is just beginning.” Just then, what appeared to be a small supply ship rose from behind the mountain that held the rebel base. It took off, just as Kylo’s communicator began to buzz with commanders asking whether or not they should fire upon it.

“See you around, kids.” And just like that, Luke Skywalker vanished, leaving Rey and Kylo amidst the destruction and upturned salt that the battle had created.

When the pair felt Luke’s spirit ebb away into the Force as they boarded the command ship once more, neither said a word.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aahhhhhh I have been drowning in my pediatrics rotation! But, thankfully, we've finally reached the halfway point in the program. *Cue confetti canon here* Anyway, sorry that this chapter is on the short side, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! As always feel free to let me know what you think. Until we meet again!

Poe Dameron was always quick to act. Whether it be blowing up destroyers or risking it all to get intel where it needed to go, the young commander was someone that the Resistance could count on to make the riskiest plans possible. That’s how they had ended up in this mess, after all- if they weren’t mere moments from complete and total annihilation, he might have stopped to ponder just how badly he had jacked this whole situation up.

But like he thought, there wasn’t time for that. At the moment, he was trying to devise a way to help Luke Skywalker as he single-handedly (literally) faced down the most dangerous man in the entire galaxy. The legendary Jedi stood before the fleet of AT-AT, staring up at the single vessel that was sure to hold his nephew. Poe was convinced that there was no way to save him now- he had made his choice. All he could hope was that they would be able to blast their way out of this mess while he was being obliterated.

Lifting his binoculars, Poe focused in on the lowering platform of the command ship.

“It’s Kylo Ren,” he called out to everyone around him. He made to lower the binoculars, but then stopped. Behind Kylo Ren came a woman. Was she a prisoner? No, she wasn’t bound. Was this some kind of trick? He stared, agape, as she walked calmly off of the ship, and came to stand next to the galaxy’s most infamous murderer.

“Rey?” Finn yelled, charging forward from the ranks of what was left of the Resistance. Somehow, even without binoculars, he had identified his friend out on the battlefield. “We have to help her. Let’s go!”

In any other situation, in any other moment, Poe would have been right behind him. But the image of transports being helplessly shot out of the sky was fresh in his mind. Now wasn’t the time for brash action- he needed to think. Poe let his hand shoot out and hit Finn’s chest, as he recognized that this was one of those terrifying moments where he had to choose their battles.

“No, wait. Wait.” Finn turned to him with confusion in his eyes. “We have to believe that Rey and Luke are doing this for a reason. We have to believe this was their plan. They must be making a distraction so we can escape.”

“Escape?” Finn questioned him. “There’s an entire army out there. Kylo Ren has _Rey,_ Poe. We have to fight!”

“No, no!” Poe stopped Finn again. “We are the spark that’ll light the fire that’ll burn the First Order down. Rey and Skywalker must be doing this so that we can survive.” Poe turned to address the rest of his ragtag crew. “There’s gotta be a way out of this mine! Hell, how did he get in here?”

“Sir,” C-3PO rushed up to him as quickly as his old, rusty joints would allow. “It is possible that a natural, unmapped opening exists. But this facility is such a maze of endless tunnels that the odds of finding an exit are fifteen thousand, four hundred and twenty-eight-”

Poe had stopped listening as soon as the world “unmapped” had left the droid’s voice box. He looked around, suddenly aware of the absence of whimpering. “Shut up!”

“To one,” the droid finished lamely.

“Listen.” Poe commanded the fighters. The silence around them was eerie, and specifically devoid of crystal dogs.

“My audio censors no longer detect the-”

“Exactly.”

“Where’d the crystal critters go?” Finn asked, his question echoing the rest of the Resistance fighters thoughts as they slowly pieced it all together. Poe watched as the last vulptex ran down a tunnel.

“Follow me,” he commanded, making his way to follow the creature. He paused when he failed to hear any footsteps behind him. Turning, he saw all of his comrades looking to General Organa. She, too, looked around to see what they were looking at.

“What’re you looking at me for?” She questioned, realizing they were looking for her approval. “Follow him.”

+++

Poe was the last person to board the ancient supply ship. The tiny craft appeared to have initially been blocked by the wall of a landslide; it quickly became apparent that Luke must have entered through there and shifted the stones with his Jedi powers. Regardless of how it happened, what was left of the Resistance was amazed that the ancient vessel still worked. Even more surprising, Finn had been the first to point out the miracle that was having enough fuel to make a couple of jumps. After having made sure that every survivor had boarded, Poe pressed the button to raise the platform for takeoff. _With any luck,_ he thought to himself, _we might just live to fight another day._

As the supply ship slowly rose off the ground and made to break atmosphere, Poe walked past celebrating fighters down a series of halls to reach the bridge. He took a moment to watch Poe place a blanket on an unconscious Rose as he strolled past an open door, but decided not to say anything. He was sure Finn was tired and worried sick about both Rose and Rey; better to leave him to rest than to invite him into the military planning that never ceased. Reaching the bridge, he came and sat in one of the rearmost seats, finally allowing himself to breathe for what felt like the first time in hours. He let the breath out as a long sigh, which had gathered the attention of Leia Organa.

“Do you want me to give you the bad news, the hard news, or the worst news first?” The kind woman asked him, walking over from where she had previously been standing. She let her old bones rest in the seat next to him, sighing slightly at the motion.

“You honor me with the choice, General,” he quipped back. Leia smiled at him somberly, placing a hand on his knee affectionately.

“You did good today, Poe.”

“Is this the bad news?”

She laughed. “No, no. I’m proud of you, I really am. The Poe Dameron I know would have rushed out there with a blaster to face down Kylo Ren himself. But you did the right thing, cutting our losses and saving those of us left in the base.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, feeling completely undeserving of the praise. It was his fault that any of this happened, after all. If only he hadn’t jumped the gun when Leia was hurt…

“Don’t go thinking that you don't deserve it.” She looked him in the eyes, sensing his self-doubt. “I won’t lie to you, the stunt you pulled at first was devastatingly stupid. But you learned your lesson quickly, and you saved us from certain doom.”

“General, it doesn’t change the fact that I got half our forces killed.” Poe looked away, ashamed of himself.

“Such is the burden of being a leader. I have led so many innocent people to their deaths in this war, and in the last one, too. War leaves no one untarnished.” She patted his knee where her hand was resting, and then moved it back to her lap. She sat up straight before continuing. “But there is no time for mourning, unfortunately. We have to keep moving.”

“What’s our plan?” He asked, suddenly aware that, at some point in the conversation, they had made the jump to lightspeed.

“That remains to be seen.” She sighed, the age suddenly showing on her face. “We’re heading to Ajan Kloss, a jungle moon. There’s an outpost there. But beyond that… we have some decisions to make.”

“Which I’m guessing has to do with the bad, hard, and worst news you have for me.” Again, Leia gave him a sad smile to match his tired optimism.

“Luke is gone.” Poe’s face fell instantly, though Leia still maintained her sad smile.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I felt it.” She closed her eyes gently. “He knew it would take everything he had left to face my son again. He went with peace and purpose.”

“Leia, I’m so sorry.” Poe studied the older woman’s face, and his heart broke as he watched a single tear roll down her cheek. She let it fall from her chin before she opened her eyes again, regaining composure.

“No time for it now. On to the hard news,” she paused, as if for dramatic effect. “I don’t know why Rey was there with my son.”

Poe was troubled by this. He had been so sure that Leia would know why Rey had been standing there. The old woman seemed very fond of keeping as much information as “need to know” as possible, so wasn’t there some larger, secret plan going on there? Yet it seemed that Leia truly was at a loss when it came to explaining what they had all seen before their hasty escape.

“Do you think Ren is holding her captive?”

“Possibly…”

“Or?” Poe sensed the hesitation in her voice. It sent a chill down his spine to think of what she was implying. Leia looked him in the eyes again, and without saying a word he knew that his assumption was right. It was possible that Rey had gone with Ren _willingly._ Abandoning the Resistance, her friends, and her duty. It was too much for him to bear, and all hope threatened to vanish from his mind like it was sucked out of an airlock.

“That’s the worst news, got it.” Even Poe’s dark humor and unending optimism couldn’t lighten the situation surrounding the implication. He stopped for a few seconds, processing both their losses, their lack of allies, and the disappearance of the last Jedi.

Unable to work through it all himself, he turned to Leia and asked, “General, how do we build a Rebellion from this?” Poe gestured to the tired faces and rusting equipment around him. They were only a few dozen of them left. They had no ships, no supplies, and no allies left in the galaxy. Was it even worth continuing the fight?

Leia rested a hand on Poe’s arm, comfortingly. “We have everything we need.” And with that, she rose once again, moving to ask the pilot how long they had left in hyperspace.

Poe damn well hoped that the princess was right.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings! A lull in the nursing-school action as left me with enough time to post another update! To be completely honest, I've hit a bit of a wall when it comes to latter chapters, so I'm hoping that posting what I already have will encourage me enough to keep going. But I know you're not here to listen to me complain about writer's block- without further delay, I hope you enjoy!

The holding cell was hardly comfortable. It was dark, and the air within it smelled of fear. But, Rey thought to herself, at least this time she was allowed to walk around the room instead of being strapped into an interrogation chair. It surprised Rey to think of how little time had passed since her first encounter with a chair like this- such a short time since she had come face to face with Kylo Ren for the first time. She remembered the chills that had crawled down her spine as he greeted her as if nothing was wrong, and how those shivers only strengthened when he removed his mask. It had been the first time that she saw him, at least physically, as a man instead of a monster.

The doors to the holding cell slid open. Kylo Ren stepped forth through the doorway, and Rey, in her reverie, was almost startled to see him without the mask on. These were different times, she told herself. This time, she had chosen to be in this room with him. He circled the room partially, his cape fluttering dramatically behind him. He looked tired. Rey had learned, at least somewhat, how to read his face over the course of all of their force connections. The bags under his eyes grew exponentially when he had gone without sleep. His scar seemed to actually grow more red and angry when he was mad. And the muscle under his left eye twitched whenever he was unnerved.

“I apologize that you had to wait here,” he started. Rey fidgeted with the hem of her top, unsure of how to address his apology. It felt wrong to have earned one from him. “I assure you that you won’t be staying here any longer.”

“Is that so?” She responded, now even more weary of the kindness he was showing her. “I doubt that dear General Hux is pleased with your decision to keep me in your company.”

He exhaled sharply, as if he had briefly contemplated scoffing at her response. “General Hux answers to me.” Ren once again moved, this time moving to sit in a chair in the corner of the room. Presumably, Rey surmised, the chair intended for the interrogator. She remained standing next to the interrogation chair, crossing her arms across her chest.

“You gave quite the performance on Crait yesterday.” Kylo segued, letting his hands fold gracefully in his lap. Another mannerism that Rey was sure came from years of watching his mother do diplomatic work. _No, don’t think of her,_ Rey told herself. _She’s surely disappointed in you._ “Why are you here, Rey?”

“You’re the one who asked me to join you,” she snipped back, unthinking. It was probably unwise to talk back to her (Captor? Ally? Co-conspirator?) host, but she couldn’t help the reflex. She’d spent so long considering him her sworn enemy, after all.

“Yet you did not refuse.” That was the smoking gun, right there. “I can feel the conflict in you. Even now you question why you chose to take my hand. Are you having second thoughts?”

Rey groaned inwardly, because Kylo seemed to always know exactly what question to ask in order to set her off balance. She had just battled her master, enraged by the idea that he would betray her once he knew of the darkness she battled within herself. Yet, she was almost filled with something like regret now that it was over. In the moment, all she could see was another father leaving her because of who she was. Now, she felt as if she had run away from home.

“Luke is dead,” was all she could manage to say. Her mind raced to put words to what she was feeling. It seemed like a fever dream- the memory of Kylo’s lightsaber in her hand, the blade thrust through Luke’s chest, didn’t seem real. Yet she knew that she had done it, and that it had taken all of Luke’s final strength to face her. Guilt washed over her, weighing on her like a ton of bricks. “I destroyed him.”

“You’ve taken an important step, Rey.”

“Oh, just like when you killed your father?” She bit back at him, standing up straighter. His face flashed a grimace, but returned back to its cold, calculated expression. “They all were counting on me. I betrayed every person who’s ever cared about me.”

“Did they even care about you?” Kylo questioned matter-of-factly; Rey assumed it was an attempt to get her to give into the dark thoughts circling around her brain. She saw through it, and crossed the space between them until she was shouting in his face.

“Don’t you _dare_ try to manipulate me right now!” Kylo leaned back, though his expression remained even despite her intrusion into his personal space. “He cared,” she angrily pointed down and behind her, as if pointing to the planet below the ship. “Luke was wrong about a lot of things, but he cared. So did Han, and so does Leia. I don’t care if you leave me in this cell to rot so long as you don’t _dare_ try to use my own guilt against me!”

She turned on her heel to walk away from him back towards the chair. “It’s not manipulation,” he retorted coolly. “It’s a genuine question.”

“ _Enough!_ ” She screamed, letting her fist smash into the side of the chair before her. She wrenched her hand back towards herself, rubbing where it had made contact with the object as she tried to regain some composure. She didn’t feel like herself, with all the rage and hurt bubbling inside of herself; her recent actions seemed to be evidence of how overwhelmed she was. She looked down at her hand, and contemplated how out of character her behavior was. It then terrified her to have a voice in her mind compare her conduct to that of Kylo Ren. But then again, another voice mused, she guessed it made sense.

“I just,” she paused and took a deep breath. Letting it out, she continued, “I just thought that you of all people would understand what it’s like to go against everything you have known for so long.”

Turning around to look at him, she watched as his face flashed an expression of pain and guilt. Of course he knew- she had seen his struggle in his memories and had felt it through the bond. She expected to see him hide the expression away but unlike before, when Hux and his subordinates were around, this time he let it sit on his face just a moment longer. “I do,” he whispered. “That’s why we have to do this together.”

She looked at him, trying her best to focus on his emotions. She wanted to know just what he was feeling as he looked at her with such pained eyes. But he kept up his guard, and her gentle probes into his emotions were denied. If he sensed it, he said nothing about it, leading Rey to believe that he hadn’t noticed. She then acknowledged that she had allowed herself to slowly slide down into the interrogation chair, leaning forward so as to avoid all the bindings hanging from the backrest. They continued to just stare at each other, so much like they did during their connection back on Ach-To. Rey’s anger cooled into a confusion, and she was the first to break the silence as she looked down at her feet.

“I still don't understand why you need me to do this,” she spoke tentatively. “I thought I represented the last of the Jedi, and the Resistance. Why not wipe me from history with the rest of them?” It was a burning question in her mind. What little she understood about her own motivations seemed like infinite wisdom in comparison to her understanding of why Kylo had allowed her to live, why he had asked her to join him, and why he had sounded so desperate as he begged her _please_.

If it had just been about Snoke, she reasoned, he could have easily killed him on his own. Unless he had needed her to serve as a distraction, in which case he could have just killed her immediately after his master fell and the guards were defeated. It clearly had nothing to do with finding the Resistance, because he had already had them in his grasp; and now that they had escaped, Rey had as many ideas about where they went as he had. So the only possibility left was that it was something specifically about her. Her talent, her mind, or even the desire to study their connection were all potential candidates for his motivations. Yet all of that, she thought, seemed so inconsequential. He could find any Force-sensitive like her.

That thought once again reminded her that she was no one. Her temper flared at her mind’s prompting to think about her parents. She was replaceable, unimportant, and seen as a danger by the people she loved most. It set her skin on fire, and she had to do everything to keep her hand from beating into the chair supporting her once again.

“It’s like you told Skywalker,” Kylo finally spoke again. “The bond we shared showed you just how similar we are. Just as you saw how much you are like me, I was shown how much I was like you.” He stopped, his eyes flickering down to see how her fist had been clenching the last few minutes. “It’s okay to lose control. Losing control is the first step in learning how to gain it.”

She looked at him, jaw set. “So what does that make me? Your new pet?”

“You remind me of myself. Powerful, strong-willed, driven. But also lost, confused, and burdened. The bond allowed me to recognize that. You are the only person I have found who can understand where I have been, and where I plan to go.”

She remained quiet at that revelation. He had felt it, too. In those moments where they connected, where he had appeared so vulnerable to her, she had been just as open to him. She quivered just thinking about the parts of her mind he saw without her realizing. Yet, it didn’t upset her like she expected. She was bothered by the intrusion, yes, but she took a strange comfort in knowing that someone had seen within her, and understood completely. It was comforting, in the strangest sense of the word.

“I meant what I said. I want you to join me.” Her eyes drifted back to his, and she saw the same pleading look in his eyes from the throne room. “You need a teacher. Desperately. And who better to teach you than the only person who understands exactly where you stand?”

It was too tempting. The idea of complete acceptance pulled on her heartstrings like a harpist. But she could sense that there was so much he wasn’t telling her. “What’s in it for you?” He paused, breaking their eye contact to look at the hands folded in his lap.

“I want an equal,” he whispered. “Snoke was right about one thing- I’m too weak to do this on my own.” With that, he rose from his seat, and Rey rose as well. Her stance widened as her guard shot up, worried that he may come towards her and try to harm her. He grimaced as he watched the motion.

“You may have time,” he then added, “to consider my offer.” He shifted away from her as if to show that he had no intention of rushing her. “Keeping you here as a prisoner is not my intention. I expect an answer in three days.” He took several long strides to the door, pausing before completely exiting. “And you will not have to stay here any longer. The stormtroopers outside will show you to your new quarters.”

He was out the door before she could thank him for his kindness as a host, or even think to ask what would happen to her if she refused his offer. He was nearly at the end of the hall by the time she reached the doorway, and when the troopers led her in the opposite direction, she followed them mindlessly.

_I’m too weak to do this on my own._

It was an admission that would sit with her for days.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

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> I don't even have a new, witty excuse for the infrequent uploads this time. I know, shame me as you will! Still in a little bit of a writing funk but hoping that I'm on the tail-end now. Here's a chapter in the mean time, and I hope you enjoy!

The quarters that Kylo Ren had awarded Rey were comfortable, despite how small, dim, and sterile they appeared. She had been escorted to where many of the stormtroopers bunked, which explained the dreary décor and tightness to the space. The dark metal walls seemed to absorb all the light that came from the fixture on the wall, but the bunk at least was comfortable, and the fresher always had ample hot water. That was a novelty that was still new to Rey- on Jakku, the water was always scarce and uncomfortably hot from the sun. But in other places, she had learned and agreed with, a warm shower was considered pleasurable.

The most difficult adjustment to make was her shift in clothing. While she was in the fresher on the morning of her first day in her new quarters, a droid had apparently appeared and then just as quickly disappeared with her usual ensemble. Terrified that she had been left with nothing to wear, she was grateful to find that the dresser built into one of the walls was at least filled with standard-issue First Order uniforms. Thankfully, the bottom drawer had contained some simple black pants and a matching sweater; it was probably recreation-wear for the staff, but better than a full-on officer’s uniform.

It had now been two days since Rey’s encounter with Kylo in the holding cell, and she hadn’t seen him since. She was grateful for the chance to process the events of the last few days, and had spent most of the time meditating. Being alone in her dim room, she grumbled in her head, was exponentially better than the odd looks and hostile whispers that followed her wherever she went on the ship- meals in the mess hall had been specifically trying. Regardless, she used her time meditating to try and focus on her feelings and to find where she stood in the mess of tension between the Light and the Dark. For most of these sessions, her mind had swirled around the freshly recovered memories of her parents, or around the pain in Luke’s tear-filled eyes as she struck at him again and again. For all of this agony that she put herself through, Rey was only left with frustration bubbling within her the longer each session went on. No amount of soul-searching seemed to be able to provide any answers; instead, she was only provided with more questions, or forced to watch her feelings of anger, loneliness, and fear take deeper and deeper root.

This time, though, she was determined. She sat cross-legged on the floor of her room, doing all that she could to clear her mind of the memories and voices that vied for her attention. She pushed against Luke’s begging her to turn back, and against Kylo’s pleading her to keep going; she fought her mind’s willingness to concentrate on the faces of the two people who were supposed to take care of her. It took all of her focus to not picture the disappointed look on Leia’s face if she were to learn what she had done, and to not imagine the pain on Finn’s face at the discovery that she had left him for Kylo. She pushed all of these thoughts away, aiming for the blankness of her mind that meant she had achieved a meditative state. Slowly but surely, all that Rey could see was herself, surrounded by nothingness. Away from intrusive thoughts, she took a deep breath to steady herself before once again opening up her heart and mind.

Sadness, hurt, and anger flooded her senses instantly. It was tempting to chase after these feelings, to try and examine them, but the previous two days had proven that this was only a fruitless path towards frustration. Instead, Rey pushed passed them. She shoved these surface-level emotions to the side, pushing forward towards what she was truly after. This wasn’t about how she was feeling, no. This was about where she was being _called._ Eventually, she allowed her mind to focus on picturing her own life-force. She allowed it to move and bend at will before beginning to shift her focus towards the Force itself. As she did so, she noticed that the indistinct shape morphed into a sphere. It floated before her, glowing softly, before coming to rest between two figures who had not been there befores. One, illuminated by some invisible light source, reached out towards the sphere. It was calm, serene even, as it gently tried to grasp it.

_Feel the Force flowing through you, Rey._ A voice said, and Rey knew it belonged to the lighted figure, though she couldn’t make out its face, or its features. She focused on the ebb and pull of the Force around her, how it moved through and around her analogous sphere. The voice shifted in tone. _Let it guide you._

She then came to focus on the second figure, its hands moving to grab the sphere as well. _Rey, search your feelings,_ the voice of the second figure started. _You know, don’t you?_ Her mind flashed with the image of a lightsaber being held above a young boy’s head, then with the picture of a man she didn’t recognize waking with a start. Rey somehow knew that the man had seen something terrible, and was terrified of it coming true. _All who gain power are afraid to lose it. Even the Jedi._

Suddenly, the likeness of the frightened man melded with the shape of the illuminated figure until the two had become one. Rey noted that the two figures now sat next to each other, no longer facing one another, and they stared at the sphere as it was now before them. The sphere, however, no longer was her lifeforce. Instead, it had become a fuzzy object in the background of the scene before her. “The Jedi use their power for good,” the frightened man countered.

“Good is a point of view, Anakin.” The dark figure now morphed to have distinct features, but Rey did not know him. Yet she recognized the name he spoke. _Anakin,_ her mind registered in the background, _Anakin Skywalker._ She realized that the force was showing her not a vision of the future, but a memory from the past. “The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way,” the dark figure continued, staring at the sphere before him. “Including their quest for greater power.”

“The Sith rely on their passion for their strength.” Anakin turned to look at the figure next to him. “They think inwards- only about themselves.”

“And the Jedi don’t?”

Anakin paused, and the scene faded to blackness. Rey’s mind whirred around what she had just seen, and she nearly broke her meditation with the effort. Why had the Force shown her this moment? Was it a trick? Was she being manipulated to move towards the Dark Side, as the mysterious man had clearly been calling Anakin to do? Checking her mental defenses, she couldn’t find any trace of someone influencing her. So why had the Force brought her that information? She already knew how that story ended- she had seen the tale in the memories of Kylo’s mind. What did the story of Anakin Skywalker have to do with the choice she had to make?

As Rey continued to sit in the middle of nothingness, pondering these questions, her attention was then drawn by the reappearance of Anakin, his Jedi robes flowing as he approached her. His eyes met hers, and she studied the scar across his face, and the tired look to his eyes. He stopped just before her, and then seemed to answer her question.

“Bring balance to the Force, Rey,” he told her as he held her gaze. Just as Kylo had done, he lifted his hand to her, and every bone in her body screamed for her to take it. She rose from where she sat, and slowly began to move towards the figure. Lifting her hand, she made to rest it in in his gloved palm. Yet suddenly, her stomach twisted with a sickening dread, and she watched as the figure shifted before her eyes. The tired, scarred eyes of Anakin Skywalker were suddenly covered by a black mask, and the quiet nothingness around them was filled with the sound of mechanical breathing.

“Bring balance to the Force,” the dark, mechanized voice commanded, “just as I tried to do.”

Rey leapt backwards, and her concentration was finally broken. She found herself lying on her back, on the floor of her quarters. She gasped for air, adrenaline leaving her pulse pounding in her ears. She lay there for a few moments, more confused than ever before, until she regained control of her breathing and was able to sit herself up.

Frustrated and frightened, she stood up from the floor and decided to take a walk through the silent halls of Kylo Ren’s ship in an attempt to clear her mind.

+++

She didn’t really know how long she had been wandering, but she imagined it had been several hours. This vessel was huge, and when one wasn’t running for their life, she found it took a considerable amount of time to get from point A to point B. She had, after what felt like hours, been successful in tuning out whispers and ignoring menacing glances. Now, she just enjoyed the mind-numbing exertion of moving her legs to keep walking. It was a welcome relief from the multitudes of unanswered questions that had consumed her after her meditation.

“…a noble leader, and a valiant warrior. We will not allow her sacrifice to be in vain.” Kylo’s voice reached Rey’s ears, and she stopped in her tracks. Where was it coming from? She looked around and saw that she was near one of the hangars, and she followed the sound of his voice to it. Looking in, she saw the backs of hundreds of stormtroopers, all lined up and standing rigidly straight. She had to crane her neck to see past them all, but as her eyes reached the magnetic shield that protected them all from the void of space, she saw Kylo Ren standing on a platform. Hux stood behind him along with several other senior officers, and there was what looked to be a single-passenger life pod next to him.

“The war against the Resistance rages on. You are not left without leadership, though it will be difficult to replace such a fearless leader. When you enter battle, remember Captain Phasma and fight all that much harder. Let this loss spur us forward!” Kylo yelled and gave a signal with his hand. An officer stepped forward, pressed a button, and the life pod ( _casket,_ Rey gathered) slowly was jettisoned out towards the stars. The stormtroopers then saluted in unison, and Kylo Ren stepped off of the platform and stormed down their ranks.

He exited through the door in which Rey had been watching the whole ordeal. He spotted her, but made no effort to stop to talk to her. He blew past her and down the hall, and she had to jog to catch up with him and his obscenely large strides.

“Ben, I-”

“Have you made your choice?” He bit at her, never looking at her.

“No, but I-”

“Then now is not the time to bother me with your trivial conversation.”

Rey scoffed, offended by his harsh tone. “Trivial conversation? I’ve only just had the most terrifying-” she stopped, having turned her head to glare at the man who had dared insult her. “Are you crying?”

He whipped his head to look at her, and then aggressively pulled her through a doorway. It slid closed, and she was alone with him. “How _dare_ you say something like that in front of my subordinates.”

“They would need to be blind to not notice the tears on your face,” she snapped back at him. “I’m beginning to understand why you wore a mask.”

He practically growled at her, and charged towards her. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her, despite her reflexes screaming otherwise, and she stood her ground despite wanting to move back. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stared down at her, looming over her dangerously. She had been right; he made no effort to raise a fist or a blade against her.

“I didn’t think the First Order conducted funerals,” Rey bit at him.

“It helps with morale,” Kylo gritted out, turning away from Rey so that she couldn’t see his wet cheeks.

“Morale must really be high when the Supreme Leader cries,” she mocked him, but then thought better of it. As Kylo turned away from her in what looked like shame, it dawned on her what was happening- he was just too afraid admit the truth. “I’m sorry,” she offered after taking a short breath to ensure she softened her tone. “Was she your friend?”

“She was… a loyal officer.” He grimaced, and Rey saw right through his words.

“Does protocol demand you scour every burning ship so you can give loyal officers a proper funeral?” Rey asked, already knowing the answer. He turned back to look at her, his eyes showing her that he realized he was caught in his lie. They locked eyes, and she continued to stare at him. “You gave her a nice send off.”

Neither said anything for a moment, until Kylo’s grimace waivered while his lip quivered briefly. “She was a good companion.” It was all he said, but Rey knew that was as close to an admission of friendship as she could get from the dark-featured man. She reached up tentatively, placing a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened, but didn’t pull away.

“You can cry,” she told him gently. “It’s okay to lose control.” She echoed his words to her from just a few days earlier. His eye contact finally waivered, and his lip quivered once again. Tears streamed out of the corner of his eyes, and he shut them hard. Rey had no idea how to handle herself then- what does one do when they are standing before the dictator of the galaxy, who has been reduced to a tearful mess? She did the only thing she could think of: she leaned forward, and wrapped her arms around him.

When he didn’t pull away, Rey let herself relax and just focus on being there for him.

They stayed like that for several moments before she started to feel him tensing uncomfortably. She pulled away, and he stepped back to wipe his face with his gloved hand.

“Ben, I-” He cut her off before she could continue.

“That is not my name,” he rumbled, moving to the door. “I expect your answer tomorrow.”

Before she could argue, or stop to remember to tell him about her vision, he had disappeared down the corridor.


End file.
